Our body image is the subjective image we have of our own body. It is a subjective image because it does not necessarily correspond to reality.

For example, many American women overestimate the width of their bodies. They, unfortunately, think their buttocks, stomach, and legs are bigger than they really are.

Furthermore, our body image consists of several components that form a complex whole:

Put differently, your subjective body image is shaped by how you think and feel about your body and how you behave.

Do you diet often? Do you look in the mirror a lot? Do you wear tight clothing such as skinny jeans or faux leather leggings? Or do you wear rather concealing clothing to hide certain curves? All of these factors affect your body image...

While it is difficult to say precisely how many people in the United States have a negative body image, we can safely assume it is a large group.

International research shows that about half of all women have a negative body image.

And of this group of dissatisfied women, about half are so unhappy with their bodies that they suffer mentally.

Men are generally more satisfied with their bodies. 

For example, an estimated 30% of men have a negative body image and would like to be more muscular.

By the way: Female dissatisfaction does not get better with age... Older women are often just as dissatisfied as younger women. However, the importance they place on their appearance does decrease. 

In other words, slightly older women are not happy with their wrinkles, cellulite, menopausal belly, and sagging skin but usually do have a little more respect for their bodies. 

With age, older ladies begin to appreciate more and more that they are healthy and/or that they have brought wonderful children into the world.

A negative body image can have the following adverse effects on behavior:

Many believe that those unhappy with their bodies will be more motivated to, for example: 

But in practice, it turns out to be just the opposite...

Those who think badly of their bodies take less care of themselves and are more likely to stay on the couch in front of the television with depressed feelings and less motivation and energy.

Negative body image also affects your social network and social contacts.

In other words, negative body image makes for less good friendships and a more limited circle of friends that is less fulfilling.

Those who think badly and negatively about their appearance mistakenly believe that others do too.

In her dissertation, J.M. Alleva proved this with an ingenious experiment.

The participants were shown pictures of themselves or an unknown woman during this experiment. 

After each picture, a collage of different faces came into view. Some of those looked approving, some disapproving, and some looked neutral. 

Afterward, the participants had to estimate how many faces in that collage looked disapproving.

It turned out that the more negatively the women thought about their own bodies, the more they overestimated the amount of disapproving faces in the collage after their own photo was displayed. 

When the photo of an unknown woman was shown before the collage with the three types of faces, they did not overestimate the negative feedback.

J.M. Alleva did not examine the consequences of that tendency to overestimate disapproval of one's appearance by others.

Nevertheless, she does have an idea about it: 

We may be less likely to approach other people if we think they disapprove of our appearance.

Beware: There can also be a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy...

Once you are in that negative spiral with imaginary rejection by others, you will look less happy.

This will then also have an effect on your social relationships. 

Others may then be less likely to walk up to you to make contact (because who wants to talk to a depressed person?). 

As a result, you become even more insecure.

Our sex life is another area where doubts about our appearance can throw a spanner in the works. 

American researcher Thomas Cash and his colleague Linda Smolak compared: 

That comparison showed that the latter group of women had much more fun in bed because they experienced orgasms almost twice as often. 

Spectatoring as a cause

The cause of this, according to researcher Thomas Cash, is something he calls "spectatoring" (being a spectator). 

Focusing enormously on how your body looks makes it less easy to pay attention to physical sensations, lose yourself, and enjoy and let go.

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Tracy Tylka reviewed the relevant literature and found that women with positive body image have several things in common.

Some similarities are obvious:

Also surprising is the observation that women with good body image look at their bodies from a very different perspective. 

Women with a positive body image do not focus on their appearance but on their bodies' functionality. They value their bodies for what they do and not what they look like.

This approach and mindset was also the subject of research by J.M. Alleva. 

She gave women with a negative body image several times the assignment to write about what their bodies could do and why they were grateful and happy about it.

For inspiration, the women were given a long list of examples, such as: walking, running, talking, eating, kissing, hugging, drawing, playing music, going on vacation, swimming, sleeping, writing, cycling, digesting food, trampolining, sniffing smells, singing, dancing, tasting flavors, etc.

They were given this exercise because it turned out that it is difficult for many women to think about their bodies in these kinds of grateful and favorable terms. 

However, this is purely because they are not used to it. In contrast, they can so quickly list what they don't like about themselves precisely because that's what they are used to.

During J.M. Alleva's experiment, participating women wrote gratefully about their health.

Other times they mused about what their bodies meant to others or what creative things their bodies could do.

For example, one participant in the experiment wrote that she could dance with her body and that this was important to her, for it was her way to have fun and express herself.

This is different for everyone. For example, you might be grateful to participate in painting sessions and pose as a model!

Conclusion: After doing this writing exercise about 3 times, participating women felt better about their bodies. So writing about the fun functionalities of your body is a powerful tool that still proves effective even a week later.

Although the participating women in J.M. Alleva's study had a very negative body image, she expects this method to also work and be beneficial for women with less negative, neutral, or positive body image.

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Does it help to avoid the mirror to have a positive body image? 

While it can feel liberating, experts say it remains to be seen whether it works to avoid your own reflection so drastically.

But for someone who obsessively looks in the mirror all day, it probably helps to put some restrictions on themselves.

For most people with body image problems, it can actually be good to stand in front of the mirror.

This way, you can learn to focus on the body parts you like.

It seems that the following strategy is the best one for feeling more comfortable in your body: 

Stop thinking about your body as beautiful or ugly, and stop criticizing your body for being imperfect. 

Focusing on everything your body does for you is much better and more helpful.

After all, your body carries you through life, and it deserves some credit for that!

Be grateful to your body for all the wonderful experiences and moments you can enjoy!